3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize