I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
