id be glad to
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
