at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
