Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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