Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
