Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
