There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i will never coherently bang her
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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