Can i not drive my cunt home
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I love you. Go after that dick
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
