Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
