i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
