Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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