Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
