holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We got so high we made milksteak
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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