shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
