Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
