Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
