Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
