eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
