K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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