I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Pants are for mortals
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
