you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
