Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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