everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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