Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
