I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
