We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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