i need an iv and a liver transplant
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
