Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
