The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
