At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
