I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
