They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
