and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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