It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
