Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize