I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize