brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
