he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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