She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
