I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
