I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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