you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
