Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
