do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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