this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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