and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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