i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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