HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
