got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
