There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so let's talk penis.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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