If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize