Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
