I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
