have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
