A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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