i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
