is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
