ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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