it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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