remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
