Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
