i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
