Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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