Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
