i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My cat gives me a boner
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
