guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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