im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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