just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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